


lonely star

by violet_luzon



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Fantasizing, Oral Sex, Possibly Unrequited Love, Smut and Angst, Vaginal Sex, rarepair week 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 19:29:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21202862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violet_luzon/pseuds/violet_luzon
Summary: Perhaps it was true, that Tyki’s heart had been torn apart by something stronger than him. But Allen could never be totally his, and certainly didn’twantto.You’re a monster,he said, but what about all those monsters that condemned him, those friends that abandoned him, his own acquired family sacrificing him for greater good?





	lonely star

It was a dim night, the kind where he used to find all fascinations. Tyki caught the flickering light of a street lamp, the only miserable source of illumination through the cloak of dark clouds and thick fog. Tyki observed, his eyes lingering on the desolated road, and lit himself a cigarette. Placing his elbows on the windowsill, he leaned over to take in that spectacle of human decay. The only source of human presence was a drunkard, carrying his body askew. The noise of shattering glass interrupted the spell of nocturnal silence, as the man threw his bottle against the bricks of the motel; then, Tyki noticed, he raised his head to yell a curse at the sky, the Moon hanging placid, the most visible representation to blame in case of misfortune.  
  
Tyki saw a strange kind of beauty in all things, and a grin pulled at the corners of his lips. It wasn’t amused, or cynical. It tasted bitter on his tongue, like tequila, keeping his mouth dry and his throat sore. A particular ache, too, settled at the centre of his chest; his heart was squashed in a brutal grip. Tyki rejoiced in that pain, entitled to his conscious masochism. And that _pain_ scraped his lungs, shortening his breath. Tyki wished it would stop, eventually. He didn’t blame his perversion, or the sensitive tangle of nerves at his low abdomen. His deadly butterflies fluttered in his stomach, and it reminded him of the things Adam used to say. _You’re in love._  
  
In the blink of an eye, his grin had faded. He brought the cigarette to his lips, breathing out the smoke through his lips, forming shapes in the air. It wasn’t about the war. Tyki had never been inclined to follow the rules. The worst part about being in love and _knowing _it was the impossibility to persuade himself with a constructed lie. He sucked on his cigarette, slow and torturous. His lips were arid, even when he repeatedly let his tongue slide across his lips. The cold numbness of October brushed his bare chest, scratching his wounds. The ghost of the smoke, flowing within, caressed his lungs with velvet-like tenderness. Inhaling and exhaling, it felt a lot like being on the verge of death. Allen made him feel death that time. His sword of exorcism passed through him, making the demon twist and writhe in terrible agony. Because he wanted to _save _Tyki, demanding, with impossible naivety, that absurd self-deprecating sacrifice, that Tyki lived a dignified life.  
  
But Allen pushed him off himself, seething with dread and fury. _You’re a monster. _Allen’s gaze, that terrible night, had reminded him of a caged animal, forced into a corner. Tyki was promptly securing him from the threat, his muscular arms around the boy’s shaking body, the scent of roses and the smell of sweat and a dreadful danger in front of them. _Don’t touch me! _ Allen had yelled, raising his voice to a point where Tyki couldn’t recognise him. Frustrated, exhausted, foolish. In his heart, he knew he couldn’t easily earn Allen’s trust, and he wasn’t that presumptuous to assume Allen would ever forgive him. Allen attracted him every time, with his gorgeous determination and magnificent kindness. Cruel words had slipped past his pink, delicate lips; Tyki repeated them in his mind.  
  
_You’re a monster. _  
  
Chuckling to himself, he threw the half-consumed cigarette on the ashtray by the windowsill. What did Allen know about him? What did he _understand _about Tyki’s actions, anyway? His vision was blinded by prejudice, the senseless devotion to the same institution and the same friends that condemned him and left him to die. But _you’re a monster, Tyki. _How could you ever love someone else.  
  
However, Tyki tilted his head to the side as the bathroom door creaked open. A smile, slightly flattering, bloomed across his face as Lulu walked out, terrifyingly beautiful, exposed in her shamelessness. She presented herself with bare breasts, her long, dark brown hair flowing over her shoulders. Tyki’s gaze was naturally attracted to that damp softness between her thick thighs, eyes trailing down her curves down to her elegant feet. She smelled fresh out of shower, radiating an inviting warmth. She looked at Tyki with the corner of her eye, letting out a resigned sigh, and she sat at the edge of the bed, crossing her legs.  
  
“This room stinks. You’ve been chain-smoking again,” Lulu said. Her voice was deep and soothing, no inflexion or significance behind her words. She was crystalline, but hardly see-through. Her calmness was devoid of criticism, because nothing could truly reach her. She wasn’t simply cold; she was highly selective.  
  
Tyki laughed softly, taking a few steps towards her. He sat by her side, planting his hands on the sheets beneath himself. He looked into her eyes, overwhelmed by the urge to caress her. “There’s barely anything to do tonight.”  
  
“Besides thinking about Allen Walker?” she questioned, rhetorically. She closed her eyes for a brief second, opening them again to look at Tyki through half-lidded eyes; a golden sliver peeked through her lashes, similar to a wild jaguar. She hit him precisely, and the necessity to caress her turned into the sudden need to slap her and transform her into a begging whore. But he held too much respect for her to do that. She would let him anyway, letting Tyki’s contradictions speak for themselves.  
  
Tyki sighed, reaching out to brush her jaw with his fingers. She was unfazed to the touch, even as Tyki trailed his fingers down her chin, gently smoothing his thumb across her plush lower lip. “You, and all the others,” he whispered, sliding his finger past her lips, “are taking it out of context.”  
  
Lulu promptly closed her hand around Tyki’s wrist, sinking her teeth around his knuckle. She shoved his fingers out her mouth, leading his hand on her cheek. “Mh?” she said, questioning.  
  
“I like him,” Tyki smiled, breathing around the sting of his heart. “I’m intrigued,” he went on, running his hand down her face, cupping her sharp cheekbone, “I’m fascinated by him. But love between an exorcist and a Noah never ends well.”  
  
Slowly, Tyki buried his face in the crook of Lulu’s neck. He pressed an open-mouthed kiss to her skin, dragging his hand down her chest to palm her breast. The woman tangled her fingers through his curls, pulling them in a way that made Tyki hiss with want. She took Tyki’s face into her hands, severely guiding him to meet her eyes. She kissed his lips, tickling Tyki’s cheek with the brush of her painted nails. Her eyes fluttered open and her breath ghosted across his dark lips, her other hand tight and firm through his hair.  
  
“This feeling is killing you,” she murmured into his mouth. Tyki grinned, swirling his tongue around hers. He kissed her, sucking on the tip of her tongue and letting out deep groans at the pleasant sensation, like he wanted to amortise the burning ache of his conscience. Lulu pulled away from the kiss, grasping Tyki’s cheek in her hand. “You used to be ruthless.”  
  
“Don’t you like a pinch of sentimentality?” Tyki mocked, keeping his grin an inch away from her mouth. He whispered on her lips, rolling the tip of his finger on her nipple. “I can be ruthless if you want.”  
  
Lulu slapped his hand off herself, savage and fiery. The slight knit in her brow carried her distaste, as Tyki’s grin grew wider and cockier. “Pathetic,” she muttered, pressing her hand on Tyki’s mouth. He landed with his back against the mattress, concentrating on her. She had the softest heart and the shortest patience, and her elegance brought her to dislike men. Tyki knew he was privileged, that she wished serenity for him as much as she loved the Earl.  
  
“You are gorgeous, Lulu,” the man said, pained with desire. The woman prevaricated him, looking down at him with austere eyes. She straddled the man’s face, and a deep, lustful sigh escaped Tyki’s lips as her intimate scent inebriated him, invading his nostrils. He kissed her thigh, mouthing against her skin, groping her soft ass cheek.  
  
She was beautiful, but he looked at her wet labia and thought of Allen. He could muffle Tyki with his ass, begging Tyki to fuck him with his tongue. Tyki slid his tongue between her folds, slurping her juices. He squished his nose against her clit, breathing in deep her smell. She gripped his hair, rolling her hips against his face. Her touch wasn’t gentle or indulgent; she wasn’t Allen. She was the satisfaction of a single night, and not the love of his whole life. But he adored her, sucking her sweet folds and flicking his tongue on her clit, looking up at her with a smile; she ran her fingers through his curls, rewarding him with rare yet fulfilling caresses. He groaned at the taste, rolling his tongue across her sensitive bud; even if composed, her lips were slightly parted, and he caught sight of the rise and fall of her breath, the gasp in her breath.  
  
He ate her out and he wished he could give his love to Allen instead; that Allen would allow him to. He imagined a time where Allen wouldn’t misunderstand him, resting his forgiving hands on the man’s face and kiss his forehead. A time where they would play poker again, talk, and escape together to a place where people didn’t want them to be apart.  
  
What kind of face would Allen make? Of course he wouldn’t be stoic like Lulu, or as dominant and disciplined as her. What kind of sounds? Did he moan, did he whine, did he try to keep quiet?  
  
She bounced on his face, leaking juices on his skin. Tyki felt his cheeks wet, his own saliva dripping down his chin as he pleasured her, grabbing her thick thighs and pushing his tongue into her throbbing, loose hole. Would Allen be loose like her, did he get fucked? Would he like to be eaten out, would he like Tyki’s fingers on his nipples? Knowing him, he would want to be choked down by Tyki’s hands, even if he desperately denied any sort of attraction for Tyki. Tyki fantasised about choking Allen’s pale throat with his cock, treating him like a beast. There were times where he craved profound sensuality, times where he didn’t feel any sexual desire for him, where he just needed him to be close – close, in his arms, breathing and living and safe, where their love was sacred and existential. He’d kiss his feet like he worshipped Lulu’s, spread his skinny legs and pounded into that pulsating warmth like a pink secret between his inner thighs.  
  
Lulu emitted a long sigh, and Tyki couldn’t discern whether it was pleasure or resignation. She moved herself off Tyki’s face, trailing her fingers across his cheek to smear her juices on his dark skin. She flipped her long hair over her shoulder, sliding the tip of her tongue across Tyki’s torso.  
  
“You should forget about him,” she said, calm. Motherly, almost. She let a strand of her saliva flow from her mouth to the tip of Tyki’s dick, then she wrapped her gorgeous breasts around the length, gently stroking it between them. Tyki sighed softly, caressing the crown of her head. She took his hand away, leading it at the base of his erection.  
  
“I’m thinking about you,” Tyki laughed. Lulu swirled her tongue on his dripping tip, rubbing her nipples against his sensitive spots. “Only you.”  
  
“But your heart is breaking,” Lulu retorted. Tyki wished he could slap her. Her voice sounded immensely affectionate, sorrowful, a grey cadence carrying the monotony of her tone. She could see right through him, because she was like his sister. His skin and hers. Familiar. Obscene, at its purest. “I can see it. It’s in pieces. We all see it,” she went on, licking Tyki’s underside. She gave herself a pause of deep contemplation. Sucking Tyki’s tip, she pulled her lips around him. Then, she parted with a slick sound, pumping him in her hand. “I know what it feels like. Love.”  
  
And Tyki reminisced all those times when she’d comfort the weeping Earl, holding him to her chest. When she’d bow and cry at his feet, mourning her endless love for him. It was pure adoration, erotic in its absolute genuineness. Perhaps it was true, that Tyki’s heart had been torn apart by something stronger than him. But Allen could never be totally his, and certainly didn’t _want _to. _You’re a monster, _he said, but what about all those monsters that condemned him, those friends that abandoned him, his own acquired family sacrificing him for greater good?  
  
He would’ve never treated him that way.  
  
He squeezed his eyes shut, letting Lulu work him in her mouth. She started to suck, bobbing her head on his length and squeezing him at the base into her palm. Her breasts tickled his twitching erection, warm and soft. He held himself at the root, leading his cock past her throat. All the wet noises and the smell of sex and sweat set his nerves alight, reducing him to nothing but flesh and sensations.  
  
Would Allen cough, would he gag? Or would his appetite allow him to take Tyki to the balls, moaning like a slut? Could he feel it? Could he feel Tyki’s burning passion for him? Did he keep his cards, did he reserve a single, sporadic thought to him, just one, _please, just one?_  
  
He thought of him and fucked him through Lulu. Made love to her body thinking about his sweet lips, his tender limbs. Lulu pulled his dick out her mouth and Tyki lay her on the mattress, giving a tentative lick to her pussy before climbing atop her. He aligned himself with her entrance, slowly sliding into her wet warmth. She clenched her inner muscles around him, face blank, emotionless. Tyki took her cheeks into his hands, kissing her sweet mouth. His tongue found hers and he thought of Allen, she gripped him and scratched his tense back and he thought of Allen, she angled her legs up to his hips, spreading her pretty pussy, and he thought of another lover, of someone he’d never have.  
  
Tyki pounded into her, pinning her hand to the pillow. He tangled his fingers through hers, a grin spreading wide at the corners of his lips as she glowered at him, into his iris, visibly enraged by that sign of possessiveness. She tried to free her hand from his grip, but Tyki was stronger, and he leaned down to kiss her ear, mouthing against her cheek.  
  
“Let me,” he whispered, rolling his hips against hers. Her hand was delicate and small into his, and the force of his desire squished hers by the side of her head, claiming the ghost of Allen through her. She planted her feet at the small of his back, pulling him to fuck her deeper, harder, better.  
  
He knew he must’ve looked pitiful in the woman’s eyes, but she grasped his arm and threw her head back, just slightly, arching her spine like a kitten at Tyki’s relentless thrusts. Her unoccupied hand sneaked between her thighs, her thumb rolling on her clitoris. Tyki liked to imagine she was thinking about someone else, too, so that he’d feel less guilty, or less of a taker. Maybe she was thinking of Adam, of his rough hands on her hips. Of his gentle smiles, his sick mind. Or she was thinking of nothing; bliss, simply relishing in the gift of pleasure.  
  
At some point, she pushed Tyki off herself. “Don’t touch me,” she said. She positioned herself on her hands and knees, reaching behind herself to lead Tyki’s cock between her wet labia. “Fuck me, but don’t grab me,” she clarified, glaring at him over her shoulders.  
  
“Oh,” he gasped, enchanted. She reminded him of her existence, that she was equally wonderful. That she was someone he could love, too, and it wouldn’t hurt as much as it did when he loved Allen.  
  
He penetrated her, and as soon as he was buried inside her, Lulu fucked herself back on her own, shaking her plump ass cheeks on his crotch and taking him deep as much as she wanted. Out of spite, he grabbed her soft hips and gave her a sharp thrust, which cut off her breath. She instantly reached behind herself and grabbed Tyki’s wrist, twisting it in her grip and digging her long painted nails in his skin. Her gaze was ice cold, or golden danger of a tigress.  
  
“What did I tell you?” she hissed, rutting endlessly against his dick. She took him to the base, holding his wrist in her grasp. She clawed into his skin until she cut the skin open, the stinging pain an addition to Tyki’s pleasure. He grinned, watching the blood drop softly on the linens.  
  
  
Wiggling himself free, he took a deep breath, licking the blood off his wrist. “You told me not to grab you, kitten.”  
  
“Exactly,” Lulu affirmed, austere. She proceeded with her methodical movements, stroking Tyki’s most pleasant spots. “Do it again and you can forget about me.”  
  
Tyki decided to save the amusement for another night, because he needed that pussy so hypocritically, so desperately, so pathetically. Her, physically, in order to reach the illusion of his true beloved.  
  
When he didn’t face her, closing his eyes, he could see Allen. Lulu’s dark hair became Allen’s white messy mane, her plump hips turned into his skinny figure, her silence translated into Allen’s whiny voice, provocative moans, high-pitched pleas.  
  
His dreams dragged groans out his throat, as he felt Lulu (Allen) spasm around his dick, wetting him with her orgasm. And he followed her, pulling his dick out her until only the tip was buried in, thick drops flooding her. He kept his eyes shut, so he’d imagine Allen and his tears, the way he’d taste Tyki's cum when Tyki shoved his finger into his mouth.  
  
In a second, Lulu turned around, laying on her back. Tyki didn’t hesitate. There was no reason to hesitate. With his heart into his throat and the dizziness of his orgasm, he pushed his face against her pussy and licked her clean. His eyes closed, he drank his own seed, and imagined how it’d feel if he exchanged it to Allen through a kiss.  
  
Tyki kissed her intimacy one last time, placing his head atop her belly. Lulu sighed, intertwining her fingers through his wild curls. He was in love, and nobody knew how to cure him.


End file.
